Gundam Wing Says!
by WaJB
Summary: The silliness continues! The Gundam Wing cast doing a version of Sailor Moon Says! ...What? I wanted to write something light and silly! ^__^
1. Dorothy Catalonia says - This is Chapter...

DISCLAIMER:  I don't own any of the characters I use.  Well obviously, if I did it would be sooo different…^_~ (Oh! And JA is my evil annoying little sister!) This is just a little fun after writing such a LONG and winding chapter for Joy to My Life.  Its so good to let out stress through writing!

In the tradition of American-Dubbed Sailor Moon (This is so incredibly light and silly, btw)

Gundam Wing Says!:

By: J.B. Santiago

Dorothy Catalonia says - "If he has a uni-bang, tell him to 'shut up' and mind his own business, clown! …He _is_ cute though!"

Dorothy Catalonia says - "If he says 'injustice' or 'onna' or both; kick him when he's not looking then call my cousin, Treize so he can slice and dice him!"

Dorothy Catalonia says - "If he threatens to kill you, just throw yourself at him and stalk him like crazy!  It works for Miss Relena!"

Dorothy Catalonia says - "If he is blond, a pacifist and is trying to be kind to you, STAB him."

Dorothy Catalonia says - "If a braided baka comes up to you, call Hilde who will promptly hit him over the head (they're very much in love)"

Dorothy Catalonia says - "If a man with pale, long hair with a mask comes up to you, DON'T call him Birdman! (Do this only when he's not in the room!)"

Dorothy Catalonia says - "If you mention my eyebrows to anyone, I'll shish kebab you!"

Relena Darlian says - "I thought maybe I'd do one of these 'Gundam Wing says'.  I think Dorothy's too…aggressive…HEEEERRROO!!"

Sally Po says - "I'm the only normal one here! Help me!!!"

Luczeria Noin says - (sings) "I will follow him…follow him wherever he may go…"

Sally Po says - "See?!  I'm the only normal one here!!!"

Dorothy Catalonia says - "If anyone tries to take my spot again I'll - " (gets stopped as Quatre rushes in and gives her flowers)  "…umm…what was I saying?  I love yellow roses!"

Dorothy Catalonia says - "Sally Po is clinically insane.  Trust me, I know."

Wufei Chang says - "I agree!  Here! Here!"

Sally Po says - "This from 'eyebrow freak stabbing' girl and 'onna injustice I-cried-when-Treize-died' boy!"

Catherine Bloom says - "Someone forgot to do this section so I'm just filling in the space!"

Hilde Schbeiker says - "My Gosh!  My surname is bloody hard to spell!"

Dorothy Catalonia says - "I've changed my mind.  Only _I_ can stab a certain blond, blue eyed pacifist with a billion dollar empire."

Dorothy Catalonia says - "By fifteen you should have already blown up a Colony, become Queen, stolen someone else's identity, wear priest clothing, wield a katana, be embroiled in political warfare and been totally warped by the ZERO system.  IF not you've achieved _zilch_!"

Trowa Barton says - "People who constantly say bad things about me are just hiding their true feelings of love and worship for me!" (Isn't that right JA?! ^_~)

Dorothy Catalonia says - "A Porsche is a wonderful car.  A golden Porsche is a godsend."

Duo Maxwell says - "Oreos.  Twinkies.  Oreos and Twinkies.  Oreos and Twinkies RULE!"

Hilde Schbeiker says - "Ignore the boy on a sugar rush."

Dorothy Catalonia says - "Servants are a necessity when you have thousands of sharp pointy objects to clean."

Quatre Rebarba Winner says - "Avoid anyone plugged into the ZERO system who also is carrying sharp pointy objects OR you WILL get stabbed."

Dorothy Catalonia says - "This is my last entry!  Don't forget anything I've told you…Now I must 'talk' to a certain blond *Quatre*"

The Gundam Wing Cast would like to say - "Good Bye!! (and Good Riddance! - HEY!)"

Person who is expecting people to be confused:

Hehe…Is this called bashing?  Hopefully I didn't hurt anyone in the process! I call this my Gundam-light fic, 99.9% PWP ^__^ R&R, C&C, e-mail and FLAMES all incredibly welcome and cherished!! Hehehehe…Anyone want me to write more? *hears nothing but cirkets chirping* Hmmm…so you want me to write more? ~_^ Ta!


	2. Dorothy Catalonia says - I can't believe...

DISCLAIMER: Own I do not.  How Yoda of me…anyway!  ^__^  People wanted a sequel (Gundam Wing Cast - "Are you crazy?!!)  So here it is!  More silliness and PWP!!

In the tradition of American-Dubbed Sailor Moon (This is so incredibly light and silly, btw)

Gundam Wing Says! Take TWO!

By: J.B. Santiago

Midii Une says - "Why wasn't I in the first one?!!  I'm always left out!  I didn't even get to be in the anime!!!" (stomps off to find those people responsible for not putting her in the anime)

Treize Khushrenada says - "Tuxedo Mask has worse speeches than I have!!  Why doesn't anyone hate him?!?! (You don't count JA!)  

Lady Une says - "I do not have a spilt personality…(puts on her glasses) BUT I do!"

Dorothy Catalonia says - "Hey!  How many times do I have to tell you people, this is MY spot!"  (The whole gang creep up on her and stuff her in a closet, bound and gagged).

Relena Darlian says - "You know…I've never figured out why my hair changes every time my clothes change…"

Sally Po says - "Why wont someone help me!?!?!?!

Duo Maxwell says - "Chocolate contains antioxidants!  Antioxidants are GOOD for the body!  Therefore CHOCOLATE is GREAT for the body!"

Hilde Schbeiker - "Duo is not God, or Death, or an Infomercial.  He is also not a doctor.  But he IS edible!"

Heero Yuy says - "I can't believe this!  Even Barton got a line last time!  Where was mine?! Where was MINE?!  I'm the freaking STAR!  Where's my bloody line!?…"(continues in this tangent)

Dorothy Catalonia says - "MMBMMUHMMEDMMEBAM!!!!" (Still in the closet bound and gagged)

Quatre Rebarba Winner says - "It's for your own good, Dorothy!"

Trowa Barton says - "I've become infertile thanks to pants four sizes smaller than what I should be wearing…but they HAVE increased my fan-base!"

Milliardo Peacecraft says - "Milliardo Peacecraft!?  I thought I was Zechs Marquise!  I hate confusing myself!"

Mariameia Khushrenada says - "I love Ken from Digimon!  We would make an excellent couple, don't you think?"

Lucrezia Noin says - (still singing) "I will always love yoouuuu…."

Catherine Bloom says - "No one ever eats my soup!  Why?!  If no one's tasted it how would they know it's bad?!"

Wufei Chang says - "I thought 'onna' was a compliment!  I'm not Japanese, you know!"

Midii Une says - "It's a conspiracy!  The only reason I wasn't put in the anime was because there were too many blonds already!"

(Dorothy bursts out of the closet, having swallowed the gag and chewed through the rope)  Dorothy Catalonia says - "DIE PEOPLE!" (mayhem ensues as she chases everyone out of the building with her sharp pointy objects, no not her eyebrows!)

Dorothy Catalonia says - (is calm again, drinking tea ^__^) "Cheating in chess is part of the game.  Cheating in everything else is to be applauded."

Zechs Marquise says - "I thought I was Milliardo Peacecraft!  Damn this!"

Dorothy Catalonia says - (mutters) "Get lost Birdman…"

Milliardo Peacecraft says - "Did someone call me Birdman?!?!"

Mariameia Khushrenada says - "If I'm Treize's daughter and Dorothy's 2nd cousin, shouldn't I get the spilt eyebrows too?  I want spilt eyebrows!!!"

Lady Une says - (with glasses) "You can have one of my spilt personalities!"

Treize Khushrenada says - "Not personality, my dear Lady but _eyebrows_.  Spilt eyebrows."  (gives Lady Une roses, who then accepts them on behalf of her 23 personalities).

Dorothy Catalonia says - "My family is SO not healthy."

Duke Dermail says - "You said it was a good idea to go to Fortress Barge, Dorothy!  Last time I listen to your bad advice!"

Dorothy Catalonia says - "I prefer dead people to stay dead, don't you?"

Relena Darlian says - "HEERO is not my toy boy!  He's my cuddly bunny!"

Quatre Rebarba Winner says - "To keep a certain war-hungry, stabbing psychopath at bay, always send yellow roses and put lots of Prozac in her tea (when she's not looking, of course)"

Dorothy Catalonia says - "Ok, ok!  I admit it…I'm addicted to tea!"

Hilde Schbeiker says - "If anyone asks, Noin stole MY hairstyle."

Sally Po says - "I've been offered a spot on a show called Nadesico!  Yes!!  Someone finally answered my prayers!  I'm leaving you crazy people!" (gets stopped by men in white coats who lock her in a van)

Trowa Barton says - "Bangs are always fashionable.  Especially if one eye is covered by them.  You will exude an air of mystery and danger AND will hide any unsightly acne you might have…not that I have any!"

Dorothy Catalonia says - "That's it!!  I've had it with you people!  (Quatre - "I didn't put enough Prozac!")  I'm going to talk to my agent!"

The Gundam Wing Cast (minus Dorothy) says - "Do we get paid to do this?"

Person who wants to say pickles!:

Anyone want more? *sounds of silence tape here*  hmmm…ok, then!  ^__^  R&R, C&C, e-mail, FLAMES!!  All welcome and worshipped! Hehehe ~_^ bye!


	3. Dorothy Catalonia says - What?! Another ...

DISCLAIMER:  I really don't own this!  It just gets sillier!

In the tradition of American-Dubbed Sailor Moon (This is so incredibly light and silly, btw)

Gundam Wing Says! Take THREE!

By: J.B. Santiago

Duke Dermail says - "I've just realised, I don't have a first name…"

Howard says – "You think that's bad, I ONLY have a first name!"

Rashid says – "And?  What's your point?"

Sally Po says – "OK, who was it!?  Who told those people from Bandai that I was moving to another show?!  WHO!?!"

Midii Une says – "See?!  I could have made a better blond than Sally!"

The Circus Manager says – "You think you guys have it bad!  I'm called 'the Circus Manager'!  Beat that!"

OZ Soldier – "I think I win!"

Hilde Schbeiker says – "It's a Gundam!"

Duo Maxwell says – "Hilde!  That's my-copyrighted-line-from-the-dub!  Give it back!"

Treize Khushrenada says – "Just because I have an affinity for roses does NOT mean I have roses printed on my boxers.  I have them on my briefs."

Trowa Barton says – "I resent the fact that no one realises that I can TALK!"

Relena Darlian says – "About my surname…Is it DArlian or DOrlian?  Can I just use Peacecraft?  I like R.P. better than R.D. for my initials."

Quatre Rebarba Winner says – "If this is supposed to be like the 'Sailor Moon says' in the American dub, shouldn't there be a moral in what we say?"

Gundam Wing Cast – "…"

Quatre Rebarba Winner says – "OK, then." (walks off to find some morals)

Lady Une says – "Let me repeat, I DO NOT HAVE SPILT PERSONALITIES!" (puts on glasses) "I on the other hand, have 23 personalities, all who have seen His Excellency in both briefs and boxers!…but only 12 have seen him without both. *sob*"

Duke Dermail says – "Never listen to granddaughters with pointy eyebrows, an addiction to Prozac and the need to stab everything with sharp, pointy objects."

Dekim Barton says – "Oh, if you had lived, Duke Dermail! For that matter, if I had lived, we would have made an excellent pair!"

Gundam Wing Cast says – "…O_O"

Dorothy Catalonia says – "I've had a talk with my agent and he said that 'Gundam Wing Says' does not belong to me (though it should) but to some fanfic author called J.B. Santiago.  Therefore, I will seek this person out and we will come to a harmonious agreement where she will give me 'Gundam Wing Says' and THEN  I can get rid of all of you!" (walks out of building with saber, ready for some harmonious talks)

J.B. Santiago says – "EEP!  SOMEONE HELP ME!!!!"

Sally Po says – "Been there, tried that."

Quatre Rebarba Winner says – "I've found some morals!" (goes through his pockets to reveal a pink piece of paper with little red hearts on it.  Clears throat)  "I love you, and want to run honey and champagne all over you and lic – AH!" (goes red, drops paper back into pocket and takes out another piece of paper, blue this time)  "Heh.  I meant to read this one!  It goes and I quote, "We shouldn't be fighting!"  end quote."

Heero Yuy says – "Where did you get my letter to Relena!?!"

Relena Peacecraft says – "See?  How much better sounding does my name…uh…sound?"

Mariameia Khushrenada says – "Never kidnap daughters-of-vice-foreign-ministers-cum-princess-of-little-land-cum-vice-foreign-ministers.  They don't appreciate your hospitality or your desire for world domination."

Catherine Bloom says – "To bait and catch one-emerald-eye-impossibly-long-uni-bang boys who are prone to amnesia, always make sure you have blond people near by and feed them soup.  Lots of soup."

Wufei Chang says – "For everyone's information, I didn't cry for Treize!  I cried for the Tallgeese II because he and Nataku were lovers!"

J.A. Santiago says  – "I bow before you, oh mighty Dorothy Catalonia!  Please smite my enemies with your amazingly pointy eyebrows!"  (She really is like this, I swear! ^_~)

Alex and Mueller say – "Why are we always together?!  Hey!  We get the last entry! BUHAHAHAHAHAHHAHAHAHA!"

Person who is amazed that people read this:

Can I possibly do more?  Hehehe, if anyone wants I can! *sounds of silence remixed with crickets chirping* okies! ^__^ R&R, C&C, e-mail, FLAMES!!  All welcome and cared for!  Ta! ^__^

Dark building, very late at night.  Dorothy Catalonia says – "Hey?!  Where'd everyone go?"


	4. Dorothy Catalonia says - OMG! Not anoth...

DISCLAIMER:  It's another one!  I'm still amazed people read this!  ^__^  To xamick: Midii Une and Lady Une, to my knowledge, are not related.  To find out more about Midii Une, there's an excellent site (not mine obviously) http://spysilencer.chibiwing.net it's great for anything Midii.

In the tradition of American-Dubbed Sailor Moon (This is so incredibly light and silly, btw)

Gundam Wing Says!  Take FOUR!

By: J.B. Santiago

Otto says – "Is Otto my first name or is it my surname?  I didn't get the dub; they called Zechs, Lt. Zechs but his surname is/was Marquise while they called Noin, Lt Noin but her first name is Luczeria!  Thank goodness I was only in one episode or I might have gone crazy like Zechs because he didn't get his names either."

Dorothy Catalonia says – "This is MY 'Gundam Wing Says!'  MINE MINE MINE!!!!!!!!"

Quatre Rebarba Winner says – "Here, Dorothy.  Drink some tea, its good for you!"

Duo Maxwell says – "Yeah!  That's TRUE!!! It contains antioxidants!  Like chocolate!  Chocolate is GREAT for the body!"

Hilde Schbeiker says – "I can only contain him for a few hours, you know!"

Relena Peacecraft says – "I've learnt never to drink anything at all after the whole tea spiking incident.  How do I get fluids, you ask?  Through IV drips!"

Rashid says – (sings) "I will follow him…follow him wherever he may go…"

Luczeria Noin says – "Rashid!  I've found you my soul-sister!  Lets sing 'Stand by me!' "

Trowa Barton says – "Smile if you're not wearing any underwear!"

Catherine Bloom says – "That is NOT why I told Trowa to smile!"

Gundam Wing Girls says – "Sure, Catherine, sure."

Dorothy Catalonia says – "I've joined AMWaSFoNSPA (Anger Management With a Special Focus On Not Stabbing People Anonymous). I needed a twelve step program."

Mariameia Khushrenada says – "I have a moral!  I have a moral!  It's…eat the whole broccoli!  Not just the stem or tree part!"

Lady Une says (personality 15) - "Mariameia, how many times have I told you that broccoli does NOT equate to a moral?"

Treize Khushrenada says – "My dear Lady, I think you're mistaken!  Excellent moral, Mariameia!  You'll grow up just like your father!"

Duke Dermail says – "I knew I should've shot you when I had that fancy gun!"

(The real) Trowa Barton – "I can't believe that let a _clown_ of all people to pilot my Gundam!  Mariameia could've piloted it better! She wouldn't be running out of ammo every two minutes!"

Doctor J says – "It took the author three chapters to realise us scientists existed."

Sally Po says – "I vote that I am the strongest female character in Gundam Wing!"

Wufei Chang is gagged and bound before he can say anything. ^_~

Quatre Rebarba Winner says – "I'll vote for you Sally!  And also for Relena, Noin, Catherine, Mariameia, Lady Une, Midii, Hilde!"

Dorothy Catalonia says – "Step 1.  Acknowledge that anger is not the way to deali – HEY!  QUATRE!  You forgot to vote for ME!!!"  (takes out saber and starts to chase Quatre)

Heero Yuy says – "When fencing against blond, pointy-eyebrowed, scary speaking women, DON'T miss."

Dekim Barton says – "Where did I get that hideous hat?!  Someone at the costume department obviously had it in for me."

Midii Une says – "I didn't even feature in the movie or OAV!  I gave that damn cross to Trowa!  Did they mention that? NOOOO!!!"

Howard says – "Whoever did my hair and make up was a fan of 'The Gringe.' "

Abdul says – "I get the last entry!  Yes!!  I get more lines than in the whole series!  I bet nobody knew I was a method actor.  You can see it in episode - "  (thirty nine Maguanacs jump on top of him, shouting out their credentials)

Person who is about to go to work in about two minutes:

More?  Hehe, if anyone wants more, tell me!!  R&R, C&C, flames, e-mail you know the drill! ^__^  I love it all!!

Oh!  And NO  I'm not on anything!  Ok maybe a little high on too much school but that's it! ^__^  Bye!


End file.
